JOKES

PSYCHIATRIC TREATMENT
AJAIB Singh: "I understand that you have been going to a psychiatrist. Do you think it has helped?"
Suljaya Singh: "It certainly has. Only a few weeks ago, when the phone rang, i was afraid to answer it. Now I go right ahead and answer it whether it rings or not."


LOST HAT
A man who had lost his hat decided that the simplest way to replace it was to go to church and steal one from the cloakroom. Once inside,he heard a sermon on the Ten Commandments. Coming out, he was greeted by the minister and said to him,"I want you to know, Reverend, that you saved me from crime. I came here with sin in my heart. I was going to steal a hat, but after hearing your sermon I changed my mind."
"Great," exulted the minister. "Would you tell me what I said that led you to change your mind?"
"Well, Reverend, when you got to that part about "Though shalt not commit adultery", I suddenly remembered where I had left my hat."


PUT ON TRIAL
A writer famous for the economy of his words was expecting his tailor4 and his lawyer, but had to leave before their arrival. When the author returned, he saw that they had left a note: Suit is ready, trial tomorrow.


REDLINE JOKE
A tiger escaped from the Delhi zoo and started running along Mathura Road. The zoo staff and police ran after him to capture him. As soon as the tiger reached the Mathura Road bus stop, he saw a Redline bus approaching at a high speed. On seeing it the tiger turned round and ran back towards his own cage and hid inside for fear of another monster!


DAILY FAREWEL KISS
A young couple moved recently into the neighbourhood. Every morning, the Mukharjees watched the young woman kiss her husband goodbye as he left for the day.
One day, looking enviously across the fence, Mrs.Mukharjee asked her husband: 'Don't you ever feel like doing that?"
Her husband replied hesitatingly: 'Uh! I sure do, but I don't know how the young man will react."


THE GOOD BOOKS
The good books barely escapes compitition.
Question: "What books, apart from the Bible, have helped you most?"
Answer: " My mother's cookbook and my father's cheque book."


MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PRAYER
"GOD!Give me a Daughter-in-law who is hard working, respectful and one who will look after me in my old age, so that I d0o not have to face hardships of the kind my Mother-in-law had to face"


AN OLD BISHOP
An old Bishap in the nation's capital was sick of social and embassy parties. He was expected to attend every other afternoon. At one of them he entered wearily, glanced sourly at the over-familiar cast of characters and sank into the nearest chair.
The hostess coyly said,"A spot of tea, Bishop?"
"No tea," growled the Bishop.
"Coffee, Bishop?"
"No coffee"
An understanding woman,she whispered in his ear, " Scotch aqnd water, Bishop?"
Said the Bishop, brightening, " No water!"