Sunday, August 14, 2011

THE MASTER

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was leaving the room
after paying a visit, and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on
the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side
of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he
opened the door a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him
with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the
door opened he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do
know one thing: I know my Master is there, and that is enough.

And when the door opens, I shall pass through with no fear,
but with gladness."

~Author Unknown~

Softwarism: (Ultimate....)

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.

1 .. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 .. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 .. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 .. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5 .. Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client
the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 .. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 .. Redo step 4
9 .. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk.
(The software got old and get ready for next release
repeat from step 1) !!!!


The Husband Store



A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , Where
a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch ........

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to
go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the
building !

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she
goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof
that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the
Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building,


Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women
who can handle the truth!

FIVE SIMPLE RULES

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit
but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.

Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on!!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you wanted, just
sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something
better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it
means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to
laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone
who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your
worth.

The measure of love is when you love without measure.

In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person
you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever
let go, the chance might never come your way again.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose
the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or
finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should
be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you
don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead,
you forgive the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you
overlook the excuses.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can
take his place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it
grows older.

~Author Unknown~

Love Island


Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings
lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others,
including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island
was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.
So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve
the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was
time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked,
"Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and
gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a
beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."
"I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will
damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please
let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I
just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please
take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he
didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love,
I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the
elder his name.

When they arrived on land the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked,
"Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

~Author Unknown~