Sunday, August 14, 2011

Softwarism: (Ultimate....)

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.

1 .. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 .. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 .. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 .. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5 .. Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client
the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 .. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 .. Redo step 4
9 .. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk.
(The software got old and get ready for next release
repeat from step 1) !!!!

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