A humorous poem:

Only the English could have invented this language ???


We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.


If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?


Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!


Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England .
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.


And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?


And if people from Poland are called Poles
Then people from Holland should be Holes
And the Germans, Germs.

3 Men

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long
white beards sitting in her front yard.

She did not recognize them.

She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry.
Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?" they asked.

"No," she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in," they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had
happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a house together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said
pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another
one, "He is Success, and I am Love."

Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which
one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!" he said.
"Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and
fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the
house.

She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better
to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to
his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the three old men,
"Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two
also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth
and Success: "I only invited Love, why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or
Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you
invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!

~Author Unknown~

Coffee: Drink to Your Health

By Sylvia Booth Hubbard

For many years, coffee was considered a vice, linked with sleepless nights and cigarettes. But scientists have discovered that coffee contains potent antioxidants that can fight numerous ailments, including heart disease and diabetes. According to the American Coffee Association, 54 percent of Americans drink coffee on a daily basis, and they drink, on average, over three cups each.
Most studies examined the effects of caffeinated coffee. When decaffeinated coffee was included, the benefits were usually reduced.
The diseases coffee can benefit include:

• Dementia.
Drinking moderate amounts of coffee during middle age — classified as three to five cups daily — can decrease the risk of dementia by 65 percent, according to a 2009 study by Swedish and Finnish researchers.

• Liver disease.
In those who drink too much alcohol, those who drank the most coffee — more than four cups every day — reduced their risk of developing alcoholic cirrhosis by 80 percent.

• Heart disease.
Research associated with The Nurses' Health Study found that women who drank two to three cups of coffee daily had a 25 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease. Along the same line, a Spanish study found that men who drank more than five cups of coffee each day lowered their risk of dying from heart disease by 44 percent, and that women who drank four to five cups each day reduced their risk by 34 percent.

• Prostate cancer.
A recent study from Harvard Medical School found that men who drank the most coffee slashed their risk of developing the fastest growing and most difficult to treat prostate cancers by more than half when compared to men who drank no coffee.

• Gout.
Drinking four or more cups of coffee each day dramatically reduces the incidence of gout, say U.S. and Canadian researchers. Men who drank four to five cups daily lowered their risk by 40 percent, and those who drank six or more cups daily reduced their risk of developing gout by 59 percent when compared to men who didn't drink coffee.

• Breast cancer.
Coffee can either reduce the risk of developing breast cancer or delay its onset, according to Swedish studies. They found that coffee alters a woman's metabolism and produces a safer balance of estrogens. Women who drank two to three cups of coffee a day reduced their cancer risk by as much as two-thirds, depending on the specific type of breast cancer.

• Diabetes.
Enjoying six or more cups of coffee daily can cut chances of Type 2 diabetes by 54 percent in men and 30 percent in women over those who don't drink coffee.

• Parkinson's disease.
Several studies show that drinking coffee lowers a man's risk of developing Parkinson's up to 80 percent — and the more the better.

• Colon cancer.
A Japanese report found that women who drank three or more cups of coffee every day slashed their risk of developing colon cancer in half.
What's responsible for coffee's healthy benefits? Most researchers believe it's the antioxidants (polyphenols or flavonoids) in coffee, but there are hundreds of compounds in coffee that may be partially responsible.

Used Vs Loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide...

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life...

Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved...

During the day, be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved... Be yourself... This is the only day we HAVE. Have a nice day.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL
I hope this story helps you realize what is truly important in your life.

JOKES

PSYCHIATRIC TREATMENT
AJAIB Singh: "I understand that you have been going to a psychiatrist. Do you think it has helped?"
Suljaya Singh: "It certainly has. Only a few weeks ago, when the phone rang, i was afraid to answer it. Now I go right ahead and answer it whether it rings or not."


LOST HAT
A man who had lost his hat decided that the simplest way to replace it was to go to church and steal one from the cloakroom. Once inside,he heard a sermon on the Ten Commandments. Coming out, he was greeted by the minister and said to him,"I want you to know, Reverend, that you saved me from crime. I came here with sin in my heart. I was going to steal a hat, but after hearing your sermon I changed my mind."
"Great," exulted the minister. "Would you tell me what I said that led you to change your mind?"
"Well, Reverend, when you got to that part about "Though shalt not commit adultery", I suddenly remembered where I had left my hat."


PUT ON TRIAL
A writer famous for the economy of his words was expecting his tailor4 and his lawyer, but had to leave before their arrival. When the author returned, he saw that they had left a note: Suit is ready, trial tomorrow.


REDLINE JOKE
A tiger escaped from the Delhi zoo and started running along Mathura Road. The zoo staff and police ran after him to capture him. As soon as the tiger reached the Mathura Road bus stop, he saw a Redline bus approaching at a high speed. On seeing it the tiger turned round and ran back towards his own cage and hid inside for fear of another monster!


DAILY FAREWEL KISS
A young couple moved recently into the neighbourhood. Every morning, the Mukharjees watched the young woman kiss her husband goodbye as he left for the day.
One day, looking enviously across the fence, Mrs.Mukharjee asked her husband: 'Don't you ever feel like doing that?"
Her husband replied hesitatingly: 'Uh! I sure do, but I don't know how the young man will react."


THE GOOD BOOKS
The good books barely escapes compitition.
Question: "What books, apart from the Bible, have helped you most?"
Answer: " My mother's cookbook and my father's cheque book."


MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PRAYER
"GOD!Give me a Daughter-in-law who is hard working, respectful and one who will look after me in my old age, so that I d0o not have to face hardships of the kind my Mother-in-law had to face"


AN OLD BISHOP
An old Bishap in the nation's capital was sick of social and embassy parties. He was expected to attend every other afternoon. At one of them he entered wearily, glanced sourly at the over-familiar cast of characters and sank into the nearest chair.
The hostess coyly said,"A spot of tea, Bishop?"
"No tea," growled the Bishop.
"Coffee, Bishop?"
"No coffee"
An understanding woman,she whispered in his ear, " Scotch aqnd water, Bishop?"
Said the Bishop, brightening, " No water!"

9 Top Cancer-Fighting Foods By Sylvia Booth Hubbard

"Let your food be your medicine," said Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine (460-377 B.C.). His wise words are as true today as they were more than 2,400 years ago. Hippocrates knew that nutrition played a major role in good health, and modern science has found that specific foods can help fight one of modern man's most feared diseases — cancer.
Add these foods to your cancer-fighting arsenal:
Grapes.
Grapes contain several powerful nutrients that keep cancer at bay. Bioflavanoids, resveratrol, and ellagic acid block enzymes that are essential for cancers to thrive. The bioflavanoid quercetin works with vitamin C (also found in grapes) to fight cancer, including cancers of the breast and colon.
Tea.
A soothing cup of tea offers powerful cancer protection. "A wealth of scientific research shows that drinking tea regularly, especially green and white tea, helps thwart cancer," says Dr. Russell Blaylock, author of The Blaylock Wellness Report. "Types of cancer inhibited by tea include colon, breast, prostate, lung, melanoma, ovarian, and bladder."
Garlic.
Garlic contains allium compounds, which keep carcinogens from entering cells. According to studies, garlic — as well as onions, leeks, and chives — lowers the risk of stomach and colon cancer. A study at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that people who regularly eat garlic have half the risk of stomach cancer and two-thirds the risk of colorectal cancer when compared to people who shunned garlic.
Raspberries.
Raspberries contain many nutrients, such as anthocyanins, that protect against cancer. A study found that rats fed a diet of 5 to 10 percent black raspberries reduced the number of esophageal tumors by 43 to 62 percent, and another study found a reduction in colon cancer. Many berries, including strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries contain ellagic acid which slows tumor growth. Two specific polyphenols, anthocyanidins and proanthocyanidins, encourage cell death.
Mushrooms.
Powerful compounds in mushrooms, especially a protein called lectin, attack cancerous cells and prevent them from growing and multiplying. Researchers at New York Medical Center combined maitake mushrooms with interferons — anti-cancer proteins used to boost the immune system — to make a potent cancer-killing cocktail that shrank cancerous tumors up to 75 percent. They believe the combination works by switching on an enzyme that controls the growth of cancer and stops the disease from spreading. In Japan, mushroom extracts have been used in conjunction with chemotherapy for years.
Tomatoes.
Tomatoes are chock-full of lycopene, an antioxidant that mops up free radicals that are suspected of triggering cancer. Cooking concentrates the nutrient, and, according to the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, men who ate 10 servings of tomato-based foods weekly slashed their risk of prostate cancer by 45 percent. Lycopene has been found to reduce the risk of developing cancer of the lung, colon, breast, cervix, and mouth.
Broccoli.
All cruciferous vegetables, which include broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower, contain a chemical called indole-3 carbinol that lowers the odds of developing breast cancer by converting estrogen, which promotes cancer, into a version that's more protective. Broccoli also contains a phytochemical called sulforaphane, which studies have indicated prevents colon cancer.
Fish.
A Harvard study found that men who ate fish more than three times a week cut their chances of developing advanced prostate cancer by 40 percent. The main cancer-fighter is probably omega-3 oils, but generous amounts of vitamins A and D may also help. Dr. Michael F. Leitzmann, a coauthor of the study, suggests spacing fish consumption throughout the week.
Cranberries.
Don't relegate cranberries to Thanksgiving. University of California researchers found that cranberries contain the phytochemicals phenolic acids, glycosides, and anthocyanins, that block cancerous tumors both high and low — in the head and neck as well as in the colon and prostate. The phytochemicals force cancer cells to commit apoptosis — in short, to kill themselves. Drink a small glass of juice (contains at least 27 percent cranberry juice) daily and snack on dried cranberries

Green Tea’s 10 Healthy Benefits

Now there’s a scientific rationale for reading tea leaves: If they’re at the bottom of a cup of green tea, your future may hold better health.
Green tea, which undergoes less fermentation than other varieties, is a rich source of immune-boosting polyphenols. Like other plant antioxidants, polyphenols help neutralize free radicals, harmful particles that can damage cells and DNA, cause inflammation, and lead to a host of illnesses.
How much green tea do you need to reap the antioxidant rewards? In some cases, it could be as little as one cup a day. Here are 10 ways green tea is brewing health benefits:
Cancer:
The risk of lung cancer appears to be five times lower for those who drink just one cup of green tea a day, according to a Taiwanese study. “The antioxidants may inhibit tumor growth,” I-Hsin Lin, of Taiwan’s Chung Shan Medical University, tells WebMD. Other studies link higher consumption of green tea with lower risk of numerous other cancers, including breast, stomach, skin, oral, esophageal, prostate, uterine, pancreatic, and colorectal cancer.
Heart disease:
Those who drink green tea are significantly less likely to die from cardiovascular disease, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. One study estimates that three cups of tea per day lowers the risk of heart attack by 11 percent.
Cholesterol:
Green tea lowers total cholesterol and LDL (aka “bad”) cholesterol while boosting levels of HDL (“good”) cholesterol, reports the University of Maryland Medical Center.
Depression:
A little more green may lighten the blues. A study of elderly Japanese individuals notes that those who drink more green tea experience fewer symptoms of depression.
Brain power:
Japanese researchers also find that those aged 70 and up who drink at least two cups of green tea daily score better on tests of mental function including memory, attention, and ability to follow instructions.
Weight control:
Green tea contains caffeine, a hammer in the dieting toolbox, but according to a Swiss study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, green tea boosts metabolism and fat-burning to a degree “beyond that explained by its caffeine content.”
Diabetes:
Green tea aids in regulating blood sugar, the function impaired by diabetes. “Tea may be a simple, inexpensive means of preventing or retarding human diabetes,” write the authors of an animal study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry.
Kidney stones:
Green tea can affect the formation of calcium oxalate crystals — the most common component in kidney stones – making them less likely to grow to problematic size before being eliminated from the body.
Vision:
The tissues in the eye have been shown to absorb the antioxidants in green tea, indicating that “green tea consumption could benefit the eye against oxidative stress,” concludes a report in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. Oxidative stress is linked to cataracts and glaucoma.
Colds:
In laboratory conditions, the polyphenols in green tea can both kill influenza viruses or prevent them from infecting other cells.
To get the best out of your brewing, use green tea within six months of purchase. Steep it in water that’s slightly under the boiling point for about one minute (more or less according to taste) and garnish or sweeten as desired. But don’t add milk — the proteins will lessen the effectiveness of the tea’s polyphenols.