CIGARETTE:- A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:- It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
DIVORCE:- Future Tense of Marriage.
LECTURE:- An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
CONFERENCE:- The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
COMPROMISE:- The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
TEARS:- The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY:- A place where divorce comes before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM:- A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
ECSTASY:- A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
CLASSIC:- A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE:- A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN:- The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ETC:- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE:- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE:- The name men give to their Mistakes.
ATOM BOMB:- An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER:- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
DIPLOMAT:- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST:- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST:- A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
MISER:- A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER:- A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL:- A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
BOSS:- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later.
DOCTOR:- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you.