Monday, July 6, 2009


Coming in after school, Billy said proudly, “Mother, the teacher asked me a question today that nobody else in the class room could answer.”
Just as proudly his mother asked, “What was it?”
“Our house number,” replied Billy.
A farmer brought his brother to see the psychiatrist. “My brother”, he explained. “thinks that he’s a hen.”
“Really,” said the psychiatrist, “and how long has he been thinking on those lines?”
“For about four months,” replied the farmer.
“And you did nothing about it?”
“No, Doctor.”
That is too bad. Why in the name of all that is reasonable, didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Well, to tell you the truth, we needed the eggs.”
One farmer was telling another about a marvelous new scarecrow he devised. It was made of tin and not only waved its arms but also emitted a blood-curdling yell every few minutes.
His neighbor asked, “ But does it really scare the crows?”
“Scare the crows!” exclaimed the farmer. “It scares them so bad they bring back the corn they stole last year!”
Husband: “You accuse me of reckless extravagance? When did I ever make a useless purchase?
Wife: “Why, there’s that fire extinguisher you bought a year ago. We’ve never used it once”
One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea.
"Driver? Can I drive for a while?"
"Sure," says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington -- dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car.
"We got somebody really important here," he says to his partner.
"Who is it? Is it a senator?"
"No. More important."
"The president?"
"No. More important."
"An ambassador? Who?"
"I don't know. But the Pope is his driver."

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