JOKES

A disgruntled school teacher handed in her resignation with the following comment: “In our public schools today, the teachers are afraid of the principals, the principals are afraid of the superintendents, the superintendents are afraid of the board, the board members are afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children, and the children are afraid of nobody.” * * * * * “If we get married, will you give up smoking?” “Yes.” “And drinking too?” “Yes.” And will you stop going to your club in the evening?” “Yes.” “And what else are you thinking of giving up, darling?” “The idea of getting married.” * * * * * Three professors at Mumbai C.S.T. station were outside a train leaving for Delhi. They were discussing percentages. They were so busy they did not notice the train moving. Suddenly they noticed and ran and caught it. Two got in and one was left behind. A lady standing by said, “Never mind. Two out of three got the train, that’s a good percentage.” “Yes,” replied the professor. “But those two came to see me off.” * * * * * Teacher: Ramesh, why didn’t you come to school day before yesterday? Ramesh: My mother washed my underpants so I could not come. Teacher: And why didn’t you come yesterday? Ramesh: I started for school, Sir, and as I passed your house I saw your underpants drying on the line, so I thought you would not be going to school. * * * * * Mummy, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers and sisters who will be coming to school.” “That’s so nice of her to take an interest in the members of our family. What did she say when you told her that you were the only child?” asked mummy “Nothing. She only said, ‘Thank God for that’.” * * * * * An absent-minded professor at home answered the door bell. “Do you come here often?” “Iam your wife, stupid!” * * * * * Ashok: I have a strong suspicion that our school is haunted. Seema: Why do you say so? Ashok: Our principal is always talking of our school spirits. * * * * * Door-to-door salesman to Housewife: I’d like to show you a little item your neighbours said you couldn’t afford. * * * * * When a famous artist was asked how it was that all his portraits turned out so beautifully, he replied: “The secret is... I never show the bad ones.” * * * * *